Tuesday, 22 September 2015
Life in the void
Part of me feels like I’m just on holiday, and I’m going to pick up and go back to work on Monday or something, even though I know that’s not true. And part of me is sort of looking around for the thing that’s missing. I had no idea how much of my own personal identity was tied up with having that 9-5.
When I was finishing work, I said I was elated and terrified, which was true. Now, I’m mostly tired, and picking away at my days, trying to stay occupied.
Some days are okay. I’m working on tidying my room (I have the tidiness gene of a 14 year old), and reading a bit. I’m writing a bit too, which is nice. Stitching, catching up on shows like Hannibal and Salem and Empire.
Hanging out with spawn.
All of the things that you wish you had time for when you’re working. But when you have nothing BUT time for them … I don’t know. They’re all things that I love, but maybe the shine has gone off them a little bit.
I’m also playing Dragon Age a lot. Some days, once spawn is off to school and I have nothing else planned, that’s all I’m doing. So I try to plan something for every day. Even if it’s the smallest, stupidest thing.
Also, I got my redundancy payout (hooray) but I’m still waiting for my superannuation payout. When I rang the pay clerk who is supposed to pass the form on to the administrator of the fund last week, she said she was waiting for my last stats - sick days, holidays etc to come through.
Which. Bullshit. I see how that would affect the redundancy payout but should have no bearing on the superannuation. The idea of dealing with it makes me tired, but dammit, I need that money.
I’ve been putting off the phone calls I need to make and I feel a bit helpless because beyond repeatedly calling her, or harassing the administrator to the fund, there’s not a lot I can do.
Life in the void.