Tuesday, 30 January 2018

Review - Chase in Shadow (Johnnies #1)

*Trigger warnings for this one for references to suicide, suicidal ideation, infidelity and homophobic slurs.

Chase Summers has, on the outside, an ideal life. He has the perfect girlfriend, a nice apartment, and he's studying towards becoming an engineer.

However, Chase also carries the burdens of secrets on secrets - secrets that he believes he can never share with anyone. When he starts making "gay for pay" porn videos, he thinks it will give him what he really craves with no real-world consequences: the touch of another man.

Chase loves his girlfriend, Mercy. But he knows she's not who he wants to be with. When he meets Tango - or Tommy - while he's filming, Chase falls hard. He can't stay away from Tommy, and he believes he can't give up Mercy.

Until the whole fragile house of cards topples down around him.

I really enjoyed Chase in Shadow. Although maybe "enjoy" is the wrong word given the relatively heavy subject matter. Chase has a LOT of self-hatred to unpack and his journey through that is a proper rollercoaster. And, although he spends most of the book lying to - and cheating on - his girlfriend, it's really hard to hate him. He's so vulnerable that it's painful to read on occasion.

I read Chase in Shadow in two days - every time I sat down I'd be reaching for the iPad to read a bit more, because I just had to know what was going to happen.

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