Saturday, 10 February 2018

Review - Gods of Egypt

I have regrets. I have many, many regrets. One of my biggest regrets right now is pressing "play" on this movie and losing two hours of my life to it.

I mean, I got my nails repainted at the same time so at least I was productive but oh my god. This was AWFUL.

1) Almost every single character in this - main or otherwise - is white. In a movie set in Ancient Egypt. I mean. I mean. No.

2) Gerard Butler - who plays the Egyptian God Set - SPEAKS WITH A SCOTTISH ACCENT. Like. I'm sorry but. No. No. No. No. No.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO As bad as it was, even Angelina Jolie made a bloody effort with her accent in Alexander.  He's all "I'm doin Egypt a favour" sounding  like bloody Braveheart.

3) The.. .main? guy? Idk, he looks like the embodiment of Generic White YA Hero and had absolutely zero charisma or chemistry with the equally bland girl who played his ... wife? I think?

4) Bryan Brown and Geoffrey Rush were cast as gods. GEOFFREY RUSH PLAYED RA WITH AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT.

5) The sets looked okay? But everything else about this movie was a bad choice piled on a worse choice piled on a terrible choice piled on a pile of camel dung. Not that there were any camels in the movie. THAT would have been an improvement.

So, so many regrets.

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